whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
