it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize