did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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