so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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