STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
