WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
