I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
