Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
