Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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