these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
