Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
