If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
