Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
