Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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