do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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