he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
