My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
