Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
