the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
