i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
