I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It was like getting head from an anaconda
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
