Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
