I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
