no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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