can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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