...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
