You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
i now understand why vodka
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
