The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
