I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I got inside last night via doggy door
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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