Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
