I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you would pick up someone in the library
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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