Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
