You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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