Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
well, you know. whores of a feather.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
