The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
