first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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