I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
