I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
