dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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