Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
