I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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