I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize