I smell stomach acid.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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