Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
