I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
