Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
