Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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