I can tuck mytits in my pants
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I have post one night stand depression
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