i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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