I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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