I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
they need to just BURY HIM!
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize