I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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