thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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