the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
