I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
