"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
