Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
