Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
